Well, I’m home! I arrived safe and sound in Kansas City on December 3rd and am now moved in with my parents in Broken Bow.
Lessons and memories from Ecuador are many and I’m sure I will continue to gain from the experience. I am thankful for the raw encounter to missionary life and being able to help in different capacities, even though it was only for a short time. The first couple of days back were difficult with the sadness of saying good-bye to it all. Those kids are amazing. They are precious and will always have a fond place in my heart. I hope that I will be able to keep in touch with them.
I will miss Nita and Francisco as well. Truly I will miss many things and many people, but I pray for the wisdom to take what God has shown me and apply it. I want to be effective and passionate for the Lord every day, no matter where that may be and no matter what that may be, big or small.
One thing that has been on my mind as I was preparing to return, and even now as I am home, is my own expectations for myself. It is hard for me not to tell myself that I need to somehow be different, that I want people to notice a change in me because of this experience. I struggled with this before when I returned from Japan, though I was not really aware of it until later. I feel so strongly that God orchestrated this trip to Ecuador and has, and will, use it for His glory. Yet, I don’t feel that different. I feel like I still struggle with many of the same old sins and still wonder if I am ever going to get it. I don’t say that with despair, however. Well, I do sometimes struggle mightily against despair when I fall for what seems like the 10,000th time in some sort of recurring sin, but that might be another discussion altogether. I realize that God can work in ways in which I do not yet understand, and indeed I am expecting Him to work in and on my life. I suppose that it is good not to unrealistically attempt to be perfect, but it might be equally wise not to despair that I am not changed.
I believe I could jot down more than I think I could about the things I learned while in Ecuador. I learned a little bit of Spanish, for one. I learned that missionary life can be a very slow, day after day battle for souls. I learned that God provides. I learned that it is more difficult to cook in the altitude. I learned that it is good for me to have some structure in my life, but not too much. I learned that girls think differently than guys (I’ll leave it at that). I learned that I am a very selfish person. I learned a little of what it looks like to be a physician and a missionary…
Even of these things, I believe they have only been learned to a small degree and I do not mean to say that I now know everything there is to know about missionary life or cooking in the altitude; only that I have learned something. Praise God for this experience. I am praying that He would continue bring forth fruit from this experience for the rest of my life.
I’m not sure what is in store for me now except that I hope to be starting medical school in the fall of 2008. I will be staying in Broken Bow until then and looking for a job to keep me occupied. I’m excited to be at home with my parents for a little bit and I’m excited to see how I might serve the Lord. Thank you all for the prayers and even for keeping updated on my little journey. God bless and hopefully I won’t stop the updates just because I’m back in the States.
For His glory,
